the monster
so sticky.
so revealing.
destructive.
can tear down your character.
why.
why does it happen.
why does it affect us.
fuels insecurity
and withdrawal.
motivates us to front.
dissolves our clarity.
makes us want for the wrong things,
as we get lost in the sauce,
leaving our foundation behind,
for the sake of an illusion.
this is realistic.
this demon is alive,
and flourishing.
it doesn't discriminate
it's only preference is for the weak.
which come from every district, every neighborhood.
rich weak, poor weak. smart weak, stupid week.
it kills me.
being vulnerable.
forgetting what is encouraging about being me.
past, present & future.
because of something. not real.
culture & its expectations. its standards.
illusions.
forgetting why my dreams are mine.
& the preferences i've cultivated.
& watching them get smaller,
while others people's thoughts plague my mine.
& then i question. then i doubt. then i conclude...
that i'm not good enough.
so sick.
especially, because none of it's real.
this thing that we give space to in our mind,
that creates these thoughts.
it takes you out of reality, & puts you in this fantasy.
and tells you why you dont fit in,
& these things you need to compromise in order to feel worthy
in an unreal world. -___-
BUT, ... pt. 2 :)
