“Spiritually, I Was Bankrupt”

this man is amazing. his courage. his boldness. ugh. i admire him.
currently reading his book, Wretched, Pitiful, Poor, Blind.
honesty, sincerity, faith, <3
everything we could all use a bit more of.

for you princess

just want to enunciate this phenomenon I've figured out. 

because there's this hold over me. 
as a girl, as a women. 
this desire to be lead, by someone I've chose.

not because my hunger is absent. 
my will to work is present. 
but fueled by something more than survival, 
this is more about preference. 
comfort zones.
my most natural one. 

this void is filled when that relationship exist. 
you give direction to my giving. 

as women i feel we are bred to give. 
to support and encourage. 
to nurture and reassure. 
we are the comfort in life, 
the bread men war for. 

intimacy is natural. 
we desire connection. 
someone to feel responsible for.
a direction for our giving. 

this is hard to admit. 
that you can be apart of my dependency. 
that i want you to be apart of what I'm dependent on. 

so that i can always have you in the back of my mind. 
something that i have, no longer something that i want. 
because its always one of the two. 

this part of nature is always takin out of context.
always exploited, always abused.
so we have to be conscious of the game, 
even though we chose not to play.

everything we are is apart of our value.
as soon as you sell for less than its worth,
you lose apart of yourself.
cold world trying to get it back.