what are feelings for?

what are feelings for?
are they something other than what we think?
a misunderstood trait, altered & manipulated to work against us?
if they are being used for evil, they were first once meant for good.
because good proceeds evil in all things.
good feeling, heavenly feeling, what is your true nature?
where does your purpose lie?

feelings resemble waves.
flowing in and out and through life.
controlling instead of being controlled.
laying claim to our time, to our thoughts.
in another space, could you be tamed?
can i be so decisive about what i feel that it manifest before me?

i feel orange, with ruffles and a hint of sparkle.
i feel love, loyalty, commitment.
i feel provision constantly.
i feel wisdom always.
i feel, therefore it is.

why can't i control my feelings & instead they control me?
who let this flood of confusion, masquerading as feeling into my body?
deciding what you feel can be a choice. can i have it?
i'll know why, i know why i'll feel peace,
why i'll feel compassion, why i'll feel love,
feel pink, sparkle and waterfalls,

i'll feel limitless.
i will feel these things so strongly,
that in everything, i'll feel love.

because in feeling lies power.
can it be reclaimed?
where feelings could motivate action &
we wouldn't have to work against ourselves.
denying the waves of feeling that go against our duties.
as a daughter, as a friend, as a neighbor, as a provider, as a pillar of peace. 

why would i care

why do i care so much about pleasing you,

when you will just do what you want to. 

even at the expense of us,

with a disregard for me.

i don’t deserve effort?

i don’t deserve discipline?

i don’t deserve respect? 

or maybe sometimes,

but only you get to decide. 

how can you be the head

when you possess no brain.

...because you must be stupid.

to taint life with death,

to bring rain into our sunshine,

to think you could still have,

what you gave away,

when you gave into yourself,

instead of giving into us.

why would i care at all about pleasing you