hey you :)

hi to myself. 

honestly, first and foremost, you've been doing great. 

in a world that is actively seeking to destroy you, 

you always get back up and try again. 

you stay close to heaven and always find a way to look up again. 

and you've made progress. 

you keep getting better at a pace that's perfect for you. 

not without tribulation, doubt and fear, 

but those demons cannot define your journey, 

rather they are used to shape your testimony. 

because your life is not only about you, 

but about those you impact, the seen and unseen. 

i'm stepping into a new layer of confidence. 

it's time. 

not simply as a partner and a mom or a lawyer, 

but as all of those things in this upgraded version. 

Grounded in God, Christ, Heaven, The Holy Spirit, 

and therefore, always floating. 

everything i need comes to me. 

i only want what i'm supposed to have, 

what God my Father has willed for me. 

i live in peace, my hope is limitless and so is God's favor. 

my energy and essence is powerful, 

and the world around me caters to me. 

to my confidence, my goodness, my heavenly magic. 

so the signs are always there, 

and the push to keep going is always felt. 

my eyes, ears and heart open to receive what Christ is telling me, showing me. 

i continue to get more perfect everyday. 

i trust me. i love me. 

and i am excited about the life God & I are creating for me. 

a trip to hell

 a few things.

knowing that God created you on purpose is a powerful revelation.  

i’ve been a little irresponsible. i’ve encountered many beautiful and healing truths that i’ve forgotten to write down. an injustice really.

but in an effort of amends, i come here with the intent of laying my current truth out with words.

that i’ve been away to a dark place. alone slowly sinking further into an abyss. fear filled me, fogging my vision like a haze of hate. i was present in body only. my mind had been lost and my soul was burning. 

the lies felt like the only truth i could trust. 

in those moments you need someone who won’t give up on you. even though the terror has you pushing them away. but God needs to remind you, a way to get you to remember, just for a second, an undeniable truth that is written on your heart. 

for me, that was that i was created on purpose. with intention. out of love. meant for joy. no matter what is happening now. all the mistakes i’ve made, the binds i’m currently in, my creation cannot be disputed and neither can the Creator. the Creator made me, & He is righteous, perfect and loves me perfectly. 

at once i realized the lie beneath my eyes. because no way could i be abandoned, left for dead, useless and invaluable. God called me a masterpiece, created me in His holy image. lol. my being is the embodiment of love, righteousness, glory. i’m the bees knees, 1 of 1, created on purpose, with intention, ain’t nun like me. :)

and God used this imperfect being and made him perfect for me. and sometimes that bothers me. because sometimes it doesn’t look how i think it should look. and then the question becomes what is the source of my vision. is it the world or is it Christ. and then layers of false truths, misconceptions and assumptions come unraveling.

i don’t know if the public will understand this one. i may be a little too in my head, driven by my heart. but it’s honesty and it’s necessary. 

you were created in the image of God and no matter how far we go off course or distance ourselves from that truth we can always decide we want it to be true again and God will honor us, honor His truth, His original love for you when He made us, when Christ died for us. the greatest fucking sacrifice! for you. for us. 

 _________ some new affirmations in rotation____________

God is my father. 

Christ is the Son of God and my brother.

Christ saved me from destruction and from the evil of and in this world.

God has created me in His image, i am an image bearer of God my father, of Heaven, holiness, righteousness, power, peace, joy, wisdom, beauty and all good things.

i have been given power over all the powers and principalities of this world through Christ the Son, the Holy Spirit within me and God my Father. 

the Father will never forsake me, Christ is never far from me and the Holy Spirit is always in me guiding me.

i rebuke all devils, demons and any evil thing, lie & perversion from me, my family, our communities, our dwellings & possessions and anything that concerns us, & i send them to where Jesus sends them and i bind them & command them to stay there. 

in Jesus name, amen 🙏🏾 

I Meant to Post This in January.

i'm so happy i get to be here, 

...knowing that my North Star has never lost sight of me. 

even in times of uncertainty and insecurity,

i was in the right space, at the right time.

these past 6+ months i've done work, unknowingly.

last feb, i experienced one of the most debilitating depressive episodes.

i knew i needed help and that i had to do something.

i just wanted to survive.

little did i know i was setting myself up to thrive.

i faced uncomfortable truths and it was a test of the faith i used to fight and heal.

and those battles were not only faced and won,

but room was made and growth flourished.

kindness, forgiveness, honesty and confidence,

all came flooding my heart and soul.

and the fruit of my labor, while being unexpected is red carpet welcomed.

i never realized so many other positive things would take shape in my life.

i just wanted to stop beating myself up to the point of hatred,

but i ended up gaining multiple layers of love and compassion for myself, 

the person i was and the person i'm becoming.