i'm kind of rushing.
it's just that i want to finally make progress on this.
before i forget.
especially because, even if it doesn't always feel like it,
it's a monumental time.
but because this is somewhat so significant to me,
i don't want to rush.
i feel like i need time to gather my thoughts,
& create a focus,
or i could just be stalling.
i'm moving!
i've been praying, sowing, believing.
for a break. Heaven's favor,
to rain down & reign over my situation.
& it has.
my circumstances are ideal.
not the end to all means,
the journey by no means stops here.
but it is a new chapter.
& i should be happy yes.
but, i can't say i'm anymore happier than i was previously.
i attempt always to make it a point,
to always be happy, regardless.
this though, does bring me pleasure.
reassurance, that God is actively working.
He is for me, and instead of working against Him,
We are working together. Or more like,
me actively always believing that He has already gone before me,
& made my paths straight and desirable.
but, the devil is always at work.
& the more given, the more expected.
& with that, to be totally honest,
although going back is not an option,
i move forward with a bit of hesitation.
because i am fully aware of the bullshxt life can bring.
this truth though, also brings excitement.
because these circumstances simply allow,
God to show out more than He ever has in my life,
for where there is evil, there Grace abounds much more.
this isn't just some religious folktale for me,
some deep quote meant to produce short-lived hope,
just to be forgotten about later....
it is my permanent circumstance.
it is what i count on. completely.
i've had these moments before.
these completely gut-wrenching situations,
that produce anxiousness ...
but everytime, i've stepped out on faith,
what has been produced, was far greater than the risks itself.
so why would i run and hide from this,
can i finally look these moments in the eye, and smile.
running that shxt like a thug. :) relentless. :)
my faith is always bigger than my fear.
the story my life continues to produce.
in Jesus name, amen. :)
