...calling it what it 'should' be.

i have somewhat, been away.
only diving online mostly as a spectator,
not in the mindset to be a contributor.

mostly because, i like to think before i talk.
i like there to be significant reasons why i am saying what i say,
i like my words to be set in some meaning,
a real, significant meaning.
not some superficial current state, brought upon some simple passing circumstance.
we feel so many things, in so many moments,
some i prefer more than others.
some i want to highlight,
some i don't.

& lately, i haven't gotten many moments to not only think,
but to execute,
in regards to personal work.
but this is okay,
because taking time to observe,
is something i enjoy,
& find necessary.
so in the mean time,
i've been storing up some amazing variables,
that will inevitably show themselves,
through something that i offer from the insides of me.

i tweeted some thought process i had yesterday.
it was a reaction to things i have been handling,
as well as how i was handling them.
keeping my perspective in check,
not letting defeat reach my imagination,
& only think on rest & peace & success.
to me, i have no choice.
when faced with circumstances,
that could either get much worse,
& begin eating away at my sustainability.
i have no room for negativity. none.
i cannot play with the addictiveness of being a victim,
i must, must, must, keep my head not only above water,
but in the clouds; where my help comes from!
therefor my choices & actions will be reflective of my thoughts,
secure, safe, hopeful, expectant, faithful, joyus!

it wasn't until i experienced circumstances,
that could bring true fear to my heart,
& commit to a reaction to them,
that i could speak on something worth saying.

...sometimes it's better to call it what it should be, instead of what it is.
— ashmytash (@averyashlay) February 27, 2015

not denying the reality, but stating faith. the belief that what you're believing for will manifest.
— ashmytash (@averyashlay) February 27, 2015

...with having good reason to believe for that.
— ashmytash (@averyashlay) February 27, 2015

& a 'good' reason is specific to every life. some are logical, some are 'special'
— ashmytash (@averyashlay) February 27, 2015

i say what i say about stating faith, because i always see eagerness to highlight the bad, when actually a repetitive cycle of stating good,
— ashmytash (@averyashlay) February 27, 2015

...could change the entire energy of this world. change the world's attitude...
— ashmytash (@averyashlay) February 27, 2015

i think we can all agree, the world needs a serious attitude adjustment.
— ashmytash (@averyashlay) February 27, 2015

your value; uncompromised

can i say something…
the perverted dependency women have for men, 
it disgust me. 
i don’t want it. 
anymore. lol.

the admiration, 
the respect, 
the admittance of desire, 
yes. these things i will participate in…
gladly. 

but the yearn, the desperation, the incomprehensible willingness 
to sacrifice our respect….no. no. nooo.

& i’m not a man hater. 
i love men. 
their drive, competitiveness & aggressiveness, 
their natural nature to be logical & assess without emotion, their entire essence;
i find these things very valuable, 
especially in association to myself & how i am. 

& i even find myself passionate about serving one another in intimate relationships. 
providing for one another’s needs in a way that only the other can provide…
i believe this unity is not easy to create & maintain, but it is a priceless gift in our lives. 

but so often, we as women become our own worst enemy. 
over analyzing someones attraction to us, or lack there of…
i’m specifically speaking on the variable of negative emotions women feel about themselves, 
brought on by the action or lack of action from a man. 
a reaction to disappointment is natural…
but there are good reactions, in which you acknowledge, learn & grow. 
& then there are bad reactions, in which you stay stuck: out of desperation, confusion, fear.

i’ve experienced this. i’ve been very intimate with bad thoughts & bad decisions. 
i see myself in other’s bad decisions, knowing i’ve been there. 
stuck in some rotten mindset, that sets us back, instead of setting us up for something better. 
...when we just continue to take from ourselves, instead of investing in ourselves. 

the type of intimacy so many women desire, 
it cannot be forced or manipulated. 
it has to make itself available, 
we as women have to recognize real opportunity, 
one that isn't forced or disillusioned into existence... 
& then proceed to act as if we want it. 

but in the midst of that, 
we have standards ... standards there to keep us from attacking ourselves.
prevent us from manipulating ourselves, 
feeling bad about ourselves. 

our value and appeal...
by no means does it lie in the opinion of a man. 
men didn't make us, God did. 
we can't give that power to someone else, 
for that disrespects us & our creator. 
therefore, your worth & appeal, 
are never compromised hunny. :)

i was reluctant to write this. 
i didn’t want to come off perpetrating ‘expert’. 
but i am a young women, with a critical thinking mind, approaching this with a genuine heart. 
my perspective is also valuable, & the possible benefit of sharing outweighed my reluctancy. 
therefor ...