new expectations.

that stuff that use to work before, doesnt work the same now.
& that stuff i use to get away with, i wont get away with now.

when you know more, your required to act like it.
putting your flesh in check with your spirit.

sometimes this can take years to do.
i'm tryna be cold turkey.

divine intervention

remember this day. this day in which you felt like this. this unrestrainable urge to type. to remember. to paste a bit of time on a post it note. yes, alcohol accompanied this. && for that i feel like some drunk stereotypical idea of a melodramatic writer, in an tainted environment.

i say tainted, because i am not your average writer. i am a christian first. a jesus filled individual who has daily conversations with our God. && God let me know today, that i can no (know) longer play the fence. i.e i know now. for sure. it is written. :)

these objections that i feel. these powerful feelings of doubt. smh. all caused by playing with those things on the other side. uhhhmm. there is a fence there for a reason.

so dominique was there all along to show me this as well.
why try so hard to hold on to things,
you obviously really wish to let go from.

weed is on my side.
recklessness is not.
let go of all recklessness.
we are moving on.
:)


p.s God has interrupted this reckless moment to bring us a valuable message. :)

forgive me.
im big enough to see when i come across a mistake.
a misconception. smh.
cause i was just sooo sure.
and i was wrong.

how could i have missed this?
i swear i tried.
i remembered.
think i gave the whole thing play.
but then. i couldnt piece it all together.

whatever the reasons that may be.
that fact still remains.

so now, here i am. listening.
in the midst of conflict.
that arised from a 'lack of regard' to something that was so significant.
then my attempts to dismiss it.
smh. icing on the cake.

were always so worried if the other person can make it. if they can make that commitment to a vision always weathering a storm. 

my attitude needed to be put in check. lol. he's obviously still the man here. lol. :)

my re-draft attitude includes so much more of him. and me. back in my place. eager to learn. lol.