Thursday, November 8, 2012

God vs. you

i want so bad to write something.
i don't know what i want to convey.
i have no idea what this even is.

desire.
a lot of that running around lately.
misplaced with no discipline.
can cause huge tragedy.

i want to give myself some credit.
but i deserve none.
dying to self,
might be the hardest obstacle to ever exist.
but it is the most necessary.
completely essential to health, wholeness & happiness.

not only were we raised to never go against the grain,
we were born for it.
it is our first nature, our instinct.

i think about every time i fail,
which is nearly a thousand times a day,
& get overwhelmed by how insufficient i am alone.
& how no one deserves my inconsistency.

& honestly while i can imagine the win, taste it even,
i have no idea the road in which i will have to travel to get there.

i want to take every day like a gift,
& no matter how bad i feel, i want to expect the best.
i want to be capable of giving until there is nothing left.
i want, therefore i do.

i think the failures are inevitable.
& once we come to a place where we can accept that, expect it even,
but know, that it doesn't matter,
that's when we become indestructible.
God doesn't need our help, He needs our trust.
He doesn't need perfection, He just needs you to be willing.

Want to, Try to, then Fail even,
it won't matter,
because God will turn your failures into wins.

you die to self when you stop trying & start trusting.