the treasure in youth

there are things we once believed,
things we believed could happen,
happen on our behalf.
there are things are hearts were capable of having compassion for,
things our eyes saw the beauty in,
a time where there was no limit in our minds,
and sometimes the 'unreal' could mix with what's 'real'

since when did we decide,
what's best, based on our limited logic.
when did we decide we've learned all that we need,
& our perspective is perfect and poised?
why don't we want to believe in more, for more,
for your creator, for yourself, for the world.

something about my preferences and perspective remains 'childlike'
& sometimes a feeling attempts to creep up on me,
saying i'm kind of a underdeveloped, immature creep because of it.
but more and more, with more strength behind my belief,
i know that's not true. & that i rather have it, than not.

i want to believe, that people can change,
anyone could change, the power does not have to escape them,
even though i know, some will not.
i don't want to feed off another's anger or fear,
but always be a beacon of light,
full of fearless love, and skill.

i don't want to base my character my perspective,
off the actions of another.
my moral is not compromised by our inevitable human flaws.

i want to find joy in anything,
derive hope and love from anything.
i want the 'little' moments to always be enough,

i want my imagination to be capable of running wild,
i want it to be a tool,
for hopes and dreams, for comfort and creativity.

there's the youth that gives you time,
we treasure it because we fear its departure.
but there's that youth that can stay with you as you grow,
a perspective of hope and excitement,
that will keep us in all these ass-hole moments of adulthood & responsibility,
that allows us to remain our true-selves,
unhindered by the shiftiness of fear.

#hiphopconfessions // jeezy // seen it all

'i hope my hustle don't offend nobody, 

but i could give a fxxk what you think about me, 

you know i like to turn up at the spot, 

act a fool with the money, og told me keep it lowkey....'

can we talk for a second about hiphop?

because for some reason i don't bring it to this forum, 

half as much as it is a topic on my mind. 

it's easy to personally conversate about, 

i mean, that's usually how it happens...

session-ing with the homies, 

heard some of that new jeezy, & the homie got that. 

run that. 

& then boom. 

gah damn. 

i'm about to download this shxt rah now. 

new car music. asap. 

or you'll plan to exercise, anxiously, 

just to have that new quarter block bumping through the headphones. 

it's something about jeezy, 

something God gave him, 

that made him my rap soulmate. one of few. 

i like what he does, and how he does it. 

i like what he gets hyped about, 

i like his standards, and can relate to his recklessness. 

his alter ego, lol, seems similar to mine. ghetto fabulous. yes. 

i like his growth, i admire his time in the game. his ups and downs, 

i never denied, that jeezy does it like i like it, pretty much all the time. 

this seen it all joint, y'all know that joint is a classic right?

not just because jeezy's rap game is clearly always getting better, 

his flow, his beats, the relationship between the two, 

jeezy understands how to deliver. cohesive quality. 

but his content, where it's coming from, 

all he's been through. wwwwhhhhhaaaaa

#jeezytaughtmehowtoball. 

no. really. 

who does hype beast music better. 

'...all a nxgguh talk about is bricks & birds, 

chinchilla shxt nxgguh, his & her's..."

idc. you can say what you want. 

this is personal, this is an opinion. 

you don't have to feel me. idgaf. :)

but this classy ghetto nxgguh is consistent, 

his decisions, his actions, his dirt, his content, 

he kept going, mad of you nxgguhs counting him out...

that record label bullshxt, 

day one homie bullshxt, 

social politics bullshxt, 

rap beef bullshxt, 

jail bullshxt, 

family bullshxt, 

.....don't matter. 

with jeezy too for me, it's not always how he says something, 

even though, usually, he always makes it sound so good, 

it's what he's saying. 

it's some fxxk nxgguhs out here, please excuse my language, 

that say some real shifty shxt in they raps,

stuff you don't want to be associated with by any means, 

the opposite of thorough nxgguh shxt. uhm. 

keep that. 

me and gee over here, ballin out. 

"...the gawd in this bxxch, the mj of this shxt, 

& you can tell these nxxguhs mike home."

pushing the wrong bounderies

you ever think you're more like the devil than you ever thought?
that you show signs and symptoms of behavior that led him to where he is.
feeling like an invincible rebel, knowing better, but choosing the fall.

we pride ourselves on being able to separate,
unable to relate,
stealing the right to cast judgement on another,
justifying our selfishness.

even that,
that method,
defense mechanism,
it's not righteous. lol.

& yes, we should separate,
but not by the doing of ourselves,
but our association, dependency,
on our Father in Heaven.
acceptance of that truth, for ones self,
that new creation is new, made differently and set apart.

but assessing our lust for casting judgement is not the aim of this.
but rather actions that result from our self-righteous thinking.
our desire and belief that we should please ourselves.
and rationalizing our actions with our own dense limited logic.

and sometimes, we get too smart for our own good.
too confident for the moral that keeps us alive,
puts breath in our bodies,
keeps us even though our falls are inevitable.

and how many times you get to that place,
how often, and how easy it becomes,
to the point, that 'your' way is the right way,
you will cause your own demise.
that point is unknown.
& how close to it we get, do we even know?
...until