what does it mean when you don't mind your mistake.
at times, you like it a little too much.
notorious for learning the hard way.
if you can identify it as a mistake,
but it doesn't feel quite like one yet,
keep doin it....
& it will.
my vices have strong holds.
& they don't want to let go.
so they pose as acceptable decisions,
or indifferent actions.
so i let them out to play,
& then they attempt to eat me alive.
with their condemning suggestions.
& i realize i know better,
lock them away,
& then....
they use selective memory.
you remember the good...the bad,
gets lost in the sauce.
& you try again.
only to be reminded of the inevitable outcome.
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! o_0
that's how i feel.
fighting a battle i don't want.
a battle of thoughts are the hardest.
convincing yourself you don't want,
what yourself is telling you you do.
to have the will,
to deny yourself,
what yourself wants.
it takes higher help.
i need higher help.
because i have too much to lose,
to have to learn the hard way.
