i wish i could be poetic,
but the best way for me
to articulate the truths i’m realizing,
is to speak them how they come.
my life is the one i’m most intimate with,
but i know enough to know,
that the feelings and fears i face
are not isolated thoughts
directed only towards me
but shared by many, with the goal to defeat.
we can work so hard
and come so far
and win so many battles
and still face fear.
because after one goal
there is another.
even if that goal is only
to maintain a peace that cannot be shaken.
here i am,
facing another goal.
a goal so big
i forget the ones i’ve already conquered.
& here i am,
surrounded by circumstances of fire
that while although uncomfortable,
scary, and blinding,
can be used to refine me,
enhance me, make me better than before.
when we see this in others
it is easy to tell them to keep going.
it is easy to see that this trial will not last,
and all winning takes is commitment.
the action of not stopping, action to keep going.
it’s a marathon not a race we say.
but for ourselves
that truth can often seem so far away.
we forget that we’re built to last
and begin to believe
that we’re destined to fail.
no matter how many wins you claim
this fear will always attempt to meet you,
attempt to prevent you from taking the next step.
but then i saw a person
who felt down on their luck.
their passion was real,
their heart was good,
but they felt their circumstances
were instead, to be the death of them.
they couldn’t catch a break they said.
success wasn’t meant for them they said.
& i believed wholeheartedly
with not one doubt in my heart
that there was a light at the end of their trial.
it was easy for me to see
that all they had to do was keep going,
keep believing.
& i knew it was worth it to do so.
& then i took those thoughts for myself.
& i looked at my life through a different lens,
an outside one.
and i could see the win so clearly
& begin to believe wholeheartedly
that the brightest light was at the end of my own tunnel. :)
