(disclaimer. this post was inspired by frustration. lol)
i guess i can’t blame people for sacrificing integrity for the sake of community.
God would say community is more important.
but for some reason, i can’t excuse my desire to be real all the time. consistently.
to mean what i say all the time, not just when it’s convenient for a certain audience.
my community may be smaller, i may be less attractive for certain types,
but that seems to me to be a good thing. even if it doesn’t ‘feel’ like it all the time.
but who really suffers? i guess it just depends on where your importance lies.
you shake and jive for the people that surround you at the moment,
just to talk badly about them when you’re with another.
honestly, isn’t it exhausting?
idk, i guess i can’t judge.
we all handle the burdens of life differently.
but it seems that a lack of foundation,
is only a breeding ground for confusion
and harvest doubt in self and God.
ultimately, a lack of faith.
i’ve had my fair share of ups and downs
and hard lessons due to impatience, desperation and stupidity.
but ultimately, i’m always better than i was before.
in a better position than i was in before.
in a place where God won’t let my mistakes harm me, but uses them to teach me.
my dedication to truth has paid me well.
i hope whatever you’re doing is working for you.
