the one thing. hello stranger.

ive started writing this letter a million times. made a bunch of outlines, restarted, etc...
in my attempt to approach a stranger just right, i probably would have managed to scare them away.

curious about all the answers? always attempted to crack the formula for life?
...i mean not the small things like calculus  and light years. but the bigger picture.
all that and some. including the science of love, & the process of easing the difficulty that can arise w/ family.

ever think its so much simpler then people make it.
i mean there are a million theories.
a million philosophers, tarot readers, astrologist...
that while there truths may share some similarities,
theyre hostility towards each other make you wonder.

& then there's the taboo subject of religion.
& the sensitivity involved treading on such thin ice.
but why if your religion was so concrete, must i tread so softly in discussion.
shouldn't theories and truth be able to be tested, applied, taken out of context and still hold like glue?
i mean, unless there are a whole lot of holes.
& then there's us logical people...who wants to entrust in something with a whole lot of holes?
doesn't sound too reliable right?

but lets take it back, waaay back.
to one of the first.
this divine entity named Jesus i mean...
whoa whoa, i understand your hesitation.
but let's just consider...

i mean i know Christianity has been exploited,
to hell & back...
& if we take from some of those old myths, & philosophers...
Jesus wasn't the first immaculate conception.
but guess what, I'm a Christian.
& your right, Jesus wasn't the first immaculate conception.

there are all these other truths of reality that exist.
but God through Jesus answers them all.
Jesus just isnt some man.
i mean...why couldn't God have a son?
a son he made human for us..
as an example. and a savior.

i mean. God is immaculate. this divine entity of perfection.
the beginning & the end.
& we mortals, although made in the image of God, are tainted.
evil messes really.
i mean, just look at the proof in this world.
while specks of good do exist, we are drowned in poverty, disease, materialism, & a host of other -ism's.
wouldn't you agree? ...right.
& God didn't make us like that. that was not his intention.
If God, himself were to come in our presence, we would disintegrate. I mean, all that good, around all our evil.
we couldn't withstand being in the company of such perfection. love you couldn't even imagine. we would drop dead.
so here's your question....'doesn't God know everything?'
yes, yes he does.
but just because God foreknows all things, does not mean that is the motivation for us doing them.
we act on evil due to other forces. & God is a God of law, giving you free-will, & always abiding by the laws of nature he set in place.
so he's not going to go against that and force his good-will upon you.
but he will provide a way out.

here comes the purpose of his son.
this awesome being, becoming human, but only acting in the ways of God,
therefore always unlike us, while still being like us.
with the power to become our scape-goat.
bearing all of our evil.
(come-ooonn, you know there is some evil in you...selfishness, greed, envy, materialism
....we all have a little)
but Jesus bears our responsibility. giving us a way to obtain perfection through grace.
& not because you deserve it. you could never deserve it.
but because God loves you that much.
that he sacrificed his son, allowed him to be humiliated, tortured, and killed,
....so that he may rise again.
symbolizing our own death, as well as re-births!
our death from this evil nature we know so well.
into one that can stand to live and breath in the presence of our Living God.

kind of romantic right.
the ultimate love story.
shakespeare has nothing on the authors of God. :)
& this is a package deal man, full of perks and power.
so you can help your friends & family.
save them from this hopelessly dead world.
and have them rise above their circumstances. :)
just imagine.

if you were bigger than your bank acct. bigger than your closet. bigger than your 'relationships'
bigger than disease. bigger than hardships. bigger than your job.
for once, life doesn't make you...but YOU MAKE LIFE! :)
& then...once you get God, through his ultimate son Jesus,
he will give you EVERYTHING ELSE.
the phat bank acct. the walk in closet. the ultimate relationship.
the smooth as buttah family. the best job.

so this stranger, is my letter to you.
my one true advice.
that i will hold my own life to.
to guarantee that it will work for you.
& you will love it.
love being loved with the most ultimate, phenomenal love.
living in it. & sharing it.
giving everything,
losing nothing,
& gaining eternity. :)
t

we are not victims of circumstance.

a little less of me, a whole lot more of HIM. :)

my fast was a gigantic experience.
...pure love.
& even failed battles.

intense reflection,
with guiding hands,
that lead to pivotal lessons,
learned.

an intimate connection,
always on.
a love high,
instantly accessible.

gratification,
always for another.
with enough left over,
that i too,
am filled abundantly.

romantic moments.
on rose colored petals of gold.
a wealthy spirit.
completely edified.

the task at hand was not easy.
but the reward i will never be deserving of.
through grace though,
i walked within it. received it.
experienced for a week. sowing.
reaping for a lifetime.

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but are too afraid to

blah blah, no need for intro's...

with you ive learned, expectations are garbage.
& while standards can exist, they will not always be applied.

with you ive learned forgiveness,
and the patience it takes to get there.

ive learned that i cannot make you be the person i always need.
i guess you've nourished my relationship with God indirectly that way.

this is all love,
stricken with a little pain.

because although youve helped me like a bestfriend,
you hurt me like an enemy.

i lay my whole being on the table, not to offend you...
but to allow us both to grow.
& i dont doubt God works in your life.

but it's what is inside you that holds you back.
those grudges you can't let go of.
the pain from the past that you let construct your future...
those pieces of evil that i feel you embrace,
rather then fighting their existence.

so what do i do with a friend like you.
on the outside, you pose to be everything i need.
but realistically, your not half the women you could become.

so it comes down to this.
the love is real.
the commitment. the defense.
the responsibility.
from me to you.

& while i feel you want to love me,
the way i love you...
all that stuff on your insides, will never let you.

so i can't really trust you,
& i dont really depend on you.
& i always expect to fight my own battles.

i promise.
i love you the most.
but you have taught me....
a friend is still just a friend.

morning babble. at work. :)

let go of the world.
let go of the co-signs.

you havent really let go of the world.
if you still acknowledge their co-signs.

subconciously what your saying,
is that, you dont give a fuck,
because even by their standards,
your killin.
acknowledgement is respect.
do not respect the world.

so how do we completely let go of a world,
that raised us.
that still surrounds us?

but even asking this,
is an insult to the Most High.
who exist that poseses a threat to your guardian?
there is none.
what situation exist that God cannot interupt?
there is none.

God made you.
he is your creator.
with maker's knowledge. he knows you,
better then you know yourself.

God wants you closer to him
then to anything else.
this is the will of God.
will he then, not make a way of escape,
from the world that corrupted you from birth.

the answers are there.
your victory is only waiting,
do not fight battles you have already won,
re-affirm their defeat.

lost at where the journey begins?
unsure of your position?

ask God,
ask him whatever
& believe he will answer you,
because he said he will.
God is not a liar.
He wants you to hold him to his word
the original idea of integrity.

and then wait,
for God loves time.
Invest in yourself through
indulgement in the divine. :)

crash culture

it's times like these when we need to remember why.
when we are faced with a huge inner dilemma, caused by actions of the majority and your individual lack there of.
you remembered your straight & narrow when it was held in high regard.
what about when it is getting dragged through the mud?
what will keep you?