anyway, i say all that, to say this.
i'm still trying.
i'm getting better.
& sometimes it still blows my mind,
that if i take a step back,
& look at my timeline,
that i ended up here.
that i could be doing the things i'm doing,
taking risk, stepping out on faith,
over and over and over and over again.
& it just keeps happening,
not much time to stop & reflect,
because something else,
that requires your faith, your boldness,
is before you.
i can't even begin to attempt
to describe to you what that means to me,
at least now.
but damn.
& sometimes you get so caught up,
focusing on mistakes,
that God makes so minute,
that we don't even realize,
how we came through.
but man,
i'm still learning,
about balance.
how to balance priorities,
how to balance relationships & my perspective in them,
how to balance dreams and faith, and love and learning.
gah damn. :)
lol. thuglife.
i find myself asking for forgiveness everyday.
from other people,
from myself,
from God.
but we can't focus on the stumble,
we acknowledge, respect it,
take responsibility, build resistance,
we grow a little stronger,
& we rest in that,
find comfort and closure in that,
& stay confident in your ability to remain a gee.
because it's not about the 'tragedy' but your response.
so i'm currently somewhere in the middle of all this,
of learning it,
& applying it for my self,
over and over,
in all the situations it could all be applied.
& sometimes i'm resistant, rebellious, foolish,
but eventually, i come out on top. always.
because God always pulls me up. always.
so sooner than later, this issue, won't be an issue.
