the end frm the beginning. :)

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be


calling the end from the beginning. the person i am. 
nothing in september. a lot happening. a lot of God working. A LOT of prophesy. :)
so this isnt simply to the person i wish i could be. 
but to this person i am. the person currently manifesting through me. 
God bless September, the month of moving faith, <3

stephiesosexy blog, Drawing: Tia frm Hollow Heart Gallery

a warrior of God. 
by works and by example. 
a living testimony of the abundant life. 
the life God thought and brought forth since the beginning of the creation. 
you are blessed. coming in & going out. 
you succeed in all you put your hands to, 
and continue to move as the Spirit of God leads you. 


nothing like this world. 
your entire life divine. 
your husband, & your children. <3
your career & your friends.
your experiences, your possessions. 


you create to inspire. 
as a servant first, 
then as a co-heir. 
to the kingdom that cannot be shaken. 


you take risk, and push limits.
believe in the impossible.
consistently increasing the measure of faith. 


with no spirit of fear, 
darkness abandons you, leaving you in grace. 
under the wing is where your entire existence resides. 


no time to waste. every second is worship.
you will experience all good things.
and endure the lessons.
learning, growing, saving!


your peace be multiplied, 
your heart fulfilled.
as your everlasting joy & hope live in the one who made you! :)

Day 30 - Letter: your reflection

...when i talk to myself,
there is more than just me.
the spirit within me is alive
& through him protrudes the Word of God.
Effect via the Divine Cause :)

my new members balloon from church :)

Letter 30 - Your Reflection.

'who are you now? what direction is your heart leading you?
better question?
what is it you desire?
where do you want your heart to be?
what is your destination?
& what path do you wish to take?

you always have a choice,
but not without a fight.
This is a mandatory war & strategy is required for survival.
where shall your help come from? have you found a better supplier?

your not new to this fight, but your perception has changed.
the enemy has been revealed.
& while his moves cant be predicted
his attacks lack creativity.

but sometimes you forget
who your fighting for!

this is not a self-induced battle,
..one that you choose
the war is inevitable, (but you will certainly reap the rewards)
but the victory has already been taken.
Now your faith must be proven.

There is only one option,
based on the ultimate desires of your heart.
to serve the one who has placed you first.
delivered you from the schemes of the one looking to detroy you.
who's hate is based on principle, no previous beef established.

but you are all too familiar with the other side.
remember.
you use to mingle through the fence.
selling yourself for a quick fix.
forsaking the one who has given the win.

your lack of loyolty
was damaging though,
& although you will win,
you have given room for the battle
to be much more demanding.
but only for the sake of your faith.

"Stay loyal to your soil, &
I will take care of the rest.
You will slip up, but ALWAYS aim
for perfection in me.
Remind yourself, that that is your one TRUE
desire. To find perfection in My eyes.

I will forever keep you,
always forgive you
& you will stay abundantly blessed.
Walk against the odds, for it is I who set those doors
in front of you. So that it will be,
only I who makes you through.
Your success will only come through me
& you will know and prove to be an example of what I desire."
amen'

the one thing. hello stranger.

ive started writing this letter a million times. made a bunch of outlines, restarted, etc...
in my attempt to approach a stranger just right, i probably would have managed to scare them away.

curious about all the answers? always attempted to crack the formula for life?
...i mean not the small things like calculus  and light years. but the bigger picture.
all that and some. including the science of love, & the process of easing the difficulty that can arise w/ family.

ever think its so much simpler then people make it.
i mean there are a million theories.
a million philosophers, tarot readers, astrologist...
that while there truths may share some similarities,
theyre hostility towards each other make you wonder.

& then there's the taboo subject of religion.
& the sensitivity involved treading on such thin ice.
but why if your religion was so concrete, must i tread so softly in discussion.
shouldn't theories and truth be able to be tested, applied, taken out of context and still hold like glue?
i mean, unless there are a whole lot of holes.
& then there's us logical people...who wants to entrust in something with a whole lot of holes?
doesn't sound too reliable right?

but lets take it back, waaay back.
to one of the first.
this divine entity named Jesus i mean...
whoa whoa, i understand your hesitation.
but let's just consider...

i mean i know Christianity has been exploited,
to hell & back...
& if we take from some of those old myths, & philosophers...
Jesus wasn't the first immaculate conception.
but guess what, I'm a Christian.
& your right, Jesus wasn't the first immaculate conception.

there are all these other truths of reality that exist.
but God through Jesus answers them all.
Jesus just isnt some man.
i mean...why couldn't God have a son?
a son he made human for us..
as an example. and a savior.

i mean. God is immaculate. this divine entity of perfection.
the beginning & the end.
& we mortals, although made in the image of God, are tainted.
evil messes really.
i mean, just look at the proof in this world.
while specks of good do exist, we are drowned in poverty, disease, materialism, & a host of other -ism's.
wouldn't you agree? ...right.
& God didn't make us like that. that was not his intention.
If God, himself were to come in our presence, we would disintegrate. I mean, all that good, around all our evil.
we couldn't withstand being in the company of such perfection. love you couldn't even imagine. we would drop dead.
so here's your question....'doesn't God know everything?'
yes, yes he does.
but just because God foreknows all things, does not mean that is the motivation for us doing them.
we act on evil due to other forces. & God is a God of law, giving you free-will, & always abiding by the laws of nature he set in place.
so he's not going to go against that and force his good-will upon you.
but he will provide a way out.

here comes the purpose of his son.
this awesome being, becoming human, but only acting in the ways of God,
therefore always unlike us, while still being like us.
with the power to become our scape-goat.
bearing all of our evil.
(come-ooonn, you know there is some evil in you...selfishness, greed, envy, materialism
....we all have a little)
but Jesus bears our responsibility. giving us a way to obtain perfection through grace.
& not because you deserve it. you could never deserve it.
but because God loves you that much.
that he sacrificed his son, allowed him to be humiliated, tortured, and killed,
....so that he may rise again.
symbolizing our own death, as well as re-births!
our death from this evil nature we know so well.
into one that can stand to live and breath in the presence of our Living God.

kind of romantic right.
the ultimate love story.
shakespeare has nothing on the authors of God. :)
& this is a package deal man, full of perks and power.
so you can help your friends & family.
save them from this hopelessly dead world.
and have them rise above their circumstances. :)
just imagine.

if you were bigger than your bank acct. bigger than your closet. bigger than your 'relationships'
bigger than disease. bigger than hardships. bigger than your job.
for once, life doesn't make you...but YOU MAKE LIFE! :)
& then...once you get God, through his ultimate son Jesus,
he will give you EVERYTHING ELSE.
the phat bank acct. the walk in closet. the ultimate relationship.
the smooth as buttah family. the best job.

so this stranger, is my letter to you.
my one true advice.
that i will hold my own life to.
to guarantee that it will work for you.
& you will love it.
love being loved with the most ultimate, phenomenal love.
living in it. & sharing it.
giving everything,
losing nothing,
& gaining eternity. :)
t

Day 5 — Your dreams

this one could possibly get a bit intense.
as i am in a relentless place right now.
what are the point of dreams if you cant make them true.
no really, think about that. and the fact that there is a purpose for their existence.
then the question transitions, and it becomes not about whether or not dreams are real.
or can they come true,
...but are you the type of person that can make them happen?
why would you want to be anything less.

therefor dreams, you are not some distant wish, or unrealistic fantasy,
you are full of substance and content.
you have been tailored made to include my experiences,
and foresee my new position.
a vision, illustrating the future.
of what is to come.

&& dreams you are mine.
i feed and nurture you,
bring you out to play daily.
i treasure you, keep you close,
while letting you live.

i trust in you,
because you know, your existence depends on my progress.
together we are a duo. the divine replication of mobb deep, of the clipse, kurupt & daz, suga & quik. short & 40, of outkast and UGK.
im bun, your the pimp. everlasting. :)

i chose to write you today,
to inform you of your significance.
your realness.
for the doubt of the devil is being defeated constantly.
i see the power in your hope.

{there's no room for maybe in always. having hope is not foolish for love always perseveres.}

i want to thank you for being alive. 

for being so visible.

and completely attainable.

you are generous.

this is good. because i got some homies.

you let me include them.

since you are alive, you grow.

dreams, you have been growing since i could comprehend.

keep it up thuggin! :)

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

ahaahahahahahaha. i was looking for a title under which i can place you under within this letter list.
because unfortunately, for a second, i let you become too fuckin significant.
thankfully, with BIG Homie up there, we can somewhat retract steps.
obviously not recreate what happened, but redefine its meaning.
&& obviously, were just talking about me here.

there's so many reasons why...&& ive went through them all. Attempting to find the necessity in all of this. there has to be one, because i was with the program. and even though what i intended, is not what came to pass. i can make this situation anything i want to. for me at least. :)
we have BIG Homie to thank for that.

so what has brought me comfort is my entire demeanor. what i was before you, & what i will continue to be after.
you see. you can say what you like. but my character speaks for itself.
decades of realness has brought that about, & this by no means has the power to shift that. under any circumstances, eevveerr. :)

but with that into consideration, there is a reason it was you. & that i treasure. :) you're a giant amongst midgets. & you know it. but you have yet realized how to maneuver around them. instead.... you pahlay w/ the crowd. that is something only time can teach. and my timing...in the context of you? wwwaaaayyyyyyy ooofffffffffff! lol. (this is want impatience can bring...)

because of my behavior, youve become a testimonial. an experience. thankfully a rich one, because inevitably, i have good taste. but im more thankful that i'm capable of learning. learning you, learning myself, & this context in which we thrive in. this hiphop demeanor shit.

so your neither good nor bad. you are you. a wonder at what you are :) & i will pray for your success. and even continue to help you thrive. if i can.
because really, that is what created this.
a winner helping a winner win. :)

in the mean time. ...im chilling like the hook say, of whom shall i beware.
xoxo, w/o the kisses. :)

the birth of me

my parents.
i feel like this could be hard. or maybe really simple.
just the idea of summing up our relationship & my feelings...
it seems so much to consider. &; i dont want to miss anything.

but maybe we should leave the past in the past.
were all too familiar.
and well never really forget, it is what brought us here today.

this is for all of my parents.
a little bit of all of you contributes to who i am.
i can see the root of some characteristics so clearly.
& i love that.
that tradition, that trait, something we share,
that withstands time.

and a lot of what i am,
is a lot of what your not.
i recognize where you fall short,
its what created my voids, brought about vulnerabilities,
but with time, ive filled those as well.
and forgave you for the extra work youve caused me.
but that is life.

and i appreciate God for thinking my existence is worth creating.
& i thank God that he chose you to escort me into this world.

I want my children to know you.
see what i see in you.
want them to know they have the best grandparents ever.
my man, he will thank you! immensely!
for creating a women like me.
For creating three amazing women!
Hey yall there, yeah yall, Job Well Done!

xoxo, Ashley Avery.

Day 14 — time & time again... but, not this time. :)

God told me that you arent the same person anymore. & that i should start treating you that way.

trust was definitely my biggest issue.

but ive always known there was a reason my spirit picked you. something about you and jessica and how we develop over time is so similar to something that is in me.
ive never doubted your ability.
your perspective, and your will... yes.
fortunately though, that can always change.
God has destined you to be bigger then you know.
& that has always been in your character.

its just, youve never acted on it.
the devil did everything to keep you from knowing that side of you.
but, everything the devil does is temporary.
none of it is substantial enough to last forever.
and God never let go of you.
through me, he's always had his eye on you,
waiting patiently.

i didnt believe you could be helped this quickly.
but it only makes sense.
what God had given you was huge, progressive.
(which is why the devil invested so much into you)
so naturally, when you decide to look God's way,
& really indulge.
your going to move in the right direction, fast. :)

i never thought you were going to church for me.
it wouldnt have mattered, it wouldnt have worked.
but i see you indulging, intaking what you hear.
& the stuff your hearing is incredible.
i know you, so i see that.
...and your right, actions do speak loud.
& youve chosen to act on what you hear,
i see that.
& you know me, my criticism, beliefs, ideas...there all divine.
so i think of what your becoming, what your doing, very highly!
your amazing me.
your will to indulge, and to see God act on his promise,
...that even if you go towards him just a little, he will meet you more then halfway.

to anyone else, your transition might not seem like a miracle.
but i know what it really is. & God's grace is falling all over you. :)

i can say this to you, because ive chosen to step back.
and now all i see of you is the divine part.
the time we share in church.
& i know that, that is the most important part of you.
so anything else that your doing, that may not coincide with God's will,
it wont last much longer.

so i want to remind you,
that patience is a virtue.
God knows more then you.
& He made you.
so more then anyone or anything,
He knows what you need,
& He knows what you want.
& He wants those same things for you too.
if you let Him, anything God wants, He will have. :)

so ill always forgive you,
not only because im a christian,
but because life's at its best that way.
this will be a slow process,
but that allows us to marinate within it.
within God,
our relationship will only get better. :)

i love you soldier. :)
cute little tough soldier. :)