pushing the wrong bounderies

you ever think you're more like the devil than you ever thought?
that you show signs and symptoms of behavior that led him to where he is.
feeling like an invincible rebel, knowing better, but choosing the fall.

we pride ourselves on being able to separate,
unable to relate,
stealing the right to cast judgement on another,
justifying our selfishness.

even that,
that method,
defense mechanism,
it's not righteous. lol.

& yes, we should separate,
but not by the doing of ourselves,
but our association, dependency,
on our Father in Heaven.
acceptance of that truth, for ones self,
that new creation is new, made differently and set apart.

but assessing our lust for casting judgement is not the aim of this.
but rather actions that result from our self-righteous thinking.
our desire and belief that we should please ourselves.
and rationalizing our actions with our own dense limited logic.

and sometimes, we get too smart for our own good.
too confident for the moral that keeps us alive,
puts breath in our bodies,
keeps us even though our falls are inevitable.

and how many times you get to that place,
how often, and how easy it becomes,
to the point, that 'your' way is the right way,
you will cause your own demise.
that point is unknown.
& how close to it we get, do we even know?
...until

defining times.

I want to remember these moments I am so closely acquainted to hopelessness.

These moments where the easiest & hardest thing is to give in to your fears.

Welcome to the death of your spirit.

This is what selling your soul to the devil is like. 

Turning over your thoughts, your emotions, imaginations & will
to fear and despair. 

Complete worthlessness.

These are the moments we must remember.

Because we aren't the only ones who come so close.

To death within life.

We must offer up our most vulnerable times, 

To the ones who need them.

Who need are significant moments,

To use as a foundation.

Because we were where they are once,

& we kept going.

Even though we could see no rhyme or reason

Blinded by weakness

We kept crawling.

Because God promised we always had a reason to.