sh%t happens

i should be careful of what i say,
writing down thoughts,
makes them permanent memories.

but i'm feeling bold,
& honestly i think this is good.
thoughts i'm uncomfortable with,
but pushing through them.

frame of reference.
i get used to an atmosphere,
specific circumstances....
& then things change,
for the better.
& i maneuver, gladly.
& get accustomed.

then, things change again.
for the worse.
where the f#*k has my frame of reference gone?
can't even seem to remember, what encouraged you to make it.
can't feel that which made you believe you could.
so now, you feel foolish, that you ever thought you could...
that you even came this far....

but then you realize,
that even if you don't know how, you did.
you have made it this far,
even under those circumstances that seem so foreign to you now.

so really,
i'm like f%*k those thoughts that tell me i'm being silly,
for believing in a dream,
counting on it even...
because i'm here now,
& that in itself is a thousand miracles.
& while circumstances change,
sometimes for what seems like the worse,
God's working. Jesus is for me! :)
i can literally... never lose!

remind yourself

unless you minimize the exposure & recognize the fuckery immediately, a situation can turn into six. options are bent, and realities screwed, and one outlook suddenly becomes six. (exhibit a)

whether your shit is legit or not, people are gonnah talk shit. inputs are going to be suggested. & your stand on the play becomes immobile. she says she always does what she wants. but really, she's doing what she thinks other people would do. & i say think, because other people are simply doing shit they think other people are doing too.

why should i waste my time attempting to convince you that im legit. & why should i have to devote time to attempting to relay that. im that way all the time. everybody's human. so eventually youll recognize my being if its something similar to whats already in you. & then there's the rest. & thats who, 'i dont give a fuck' is for.

i say untraditional, because frontin has become the populist view. & my untraditional take on life is only shared by the bosses. yes. i can live with that. i will sacrifice the acceptance of minimalist, for the sake of something grand.

for example. check exhibit a. :)

well currently. thats my ride. & my pastor spent a little extra time on me yesterday !! amen. :)