love's risk

i want to step back, 

look at me, my actions, my thoughts, 

all objectively. 

i think i'm acting inappropriately, 

i think i'm assuming and jumping to conclusions. 

two reasons. 

one due to my own guilt. 

second, because the devil doesn't want me to have this. 

he's making it easy for me, 

to settle in selfishness and near sightedness, 

making it hard to act from appreciation, 

instead acting from suspicion and coldness. 

sometimes i lose my frame of reference, for the worst. 

and i consider and evaluate circumstances that aren't real, 

or haven't happened. 

giving time analyzing thoughts that have should have no real basis. 

it's disturbing. wasting life, while simultaneously ruining it. 

you can fall deeper into despairing thoughts, 

give in to them all, 

the ones about our love, 

ourselves, 

our worth. 

i don't want that cancer to live between us. 

i don't want to self-destruct, 

and kill off all the relationships around me. 

i don't want to be scared to love the hardest. 

i don't want to fear having to forgive.

i want to value you as a whole, 

not pick you apart. 

easier said than done. 

but here's the risk, 

because i'm going to try God here, 

all the time. 

i'm going to be a beacon of love, 

i'm going to let God use me, 

& i'm going to trust Him, not you, 

to always keep me safe, 

to always keep us safe. 

love like God

i felt compelled to write this,
because so many things are happening,
& constantly shifting,
but my core perspective and belief does not.
i'm rooted in this because it is always right.
& is not affected by the ever-changing society & world,
we are all apart of.
_______________________________________________________

My objective as a person is to be fruitful.
It is to receive God’s love and be so grateful that it pours from me onto and in someone else.
i believe all people were created by God, who is essentially, in this regard, our perfect parent.

i believe our world is full of discrepancies
& that truths concerning our existence & purpose
have been buried deep beneath theories & ideas
void of our Creator, Father God.

Regardless, it is still my purpose, my objective,
to receive love from above, & then
exert that to others in a way only i can.
a way specific to my spirit, my dna, my experiences, my imagination.
For this opportunity, i’m eternally and unconditionally grateful.

Therefore, regardless of what you identify with,
or how you identify yourself,
my love for you is eternal and unconditional.

This is not dependent on race, education, economic status,
gender, sexuality, religion or any other label
we have created to classify ourselves and others.

This is also not dependent on your actions.
You are loved by me, simply because you exist.
God thought you worth creating & existing,
& I will uphold that truth over any other,
knowing that you are a capable and valued human being
worthy of my respect and love.

sometimes i get this feeling. to slow down. not to get too much done, to make sure you have something to do tomorrow. or in the days to come. whichever.
but isnt that crazy. it's a total oxy-moron. complete redundant way of thinking. yet, my mind will comprehend it as practical. acceptable obviously. o_O

this ish gots to go. im kicking that concept out the door. to the birds. kick rocks. there is never too much to know. too much to get done.
( now i do believe in a such thing as obsessed.
but that's not where i am right now. this is personal, not general. completely tailored to describe what im going through. don't feel crazy if you cant relate )

there's always a reason your in the moment your in. whether that reason or that moment is good or bad, there is one. so by making a habit of always doing the right thing. the God thing. the thing your spirit leads you to, your reasons are always divine, therefor so is your moment.
i always want divine moments.

because really, it's just a constant mind battle.

moments where your always fulfilled. full of joy. moments where you completely trust in your maker; knowing what he has done for you, and all that he plans to. complete regard of the love always there for you. the complete love. the love that considers your hopes and your dreams. your emotions and your family. your wants & your needs.
it gets you remembering; this moment is a divine one.

& you can go through boring jobs, because your working on something better, & God can always use this in the mean time. so really, i'm never missing out. nothing can prevent God. & that something better, it's not simply a desire, but a conquered goal. because that complete love always there for you, includes the victory. :)

you ma'am have already won.
act like it.
amen. :)

remind yourself

unless you minimize the exposure & recognize the fuckery immediately, a situation can turn into six. options are bent, and realities screwed, and one outlook suddenly becomes six. (exhibit a)

whether your shit is legit or not, people are gonnah talk shit. inputs are going to be suggested. & your stand on the play becomes immobile. she says she always does what she wants. but really, she's doing what she thinks other people would do. & i say think, because other people are simply doing shit they think other people are doing too.

why should i waste my time attempting to convince you that im legit. & why should i have to devote time to attempting to relay that. im that way all the time. everybody's human. so eventually youll recognize my being if its something similar to whats already in you. & then there's the rest. & thats who, 'i dont give a fuck' is for.

i say untraditional, because frontin has become the populist view. & my untraditional take on life is only shared by the bosses. yes. i can live with that. i will sacrifice the acceptance of minimalist, for the sake of something grand.

for example. check exhibit a. :)

well currently. thats my ride. & my pastor spent a little extra time on me yesterday !! amen. :)