so yesterday,
i had this mini mental breakdown.
& while its power is diminishing,
little remnants are still present.
i adore my job,
i adore even more,
being able to do my job well.
when my expectations aren't met,
it's no one else's fault but my own.
because if i was as good as i should be,
then i would always be up.
& although logically, i can assess, that that's not true,
in my mind when it happens,
even now,
it doesn't matter.
so naturally,
as one thing begins to lead to another,
i start to feel incredibly inadequate,
in all things.
especially when it involves being loved by another person,
specifically relationships.
when the person i adore,
is a person i admire,
because of his drive,
his accomplishments,
someone i see as capable,
of possessing everything he desires,
where possibly could my inadequacy fit into that?!
it doesn't.
how could someone like that,
want someone as inadequate as me?!
that. is the icing on the cake.
after that, i completely separate myself,
because my stability is shot,
and my worth has completely diminished…at least in my mind.
buut, wait for it, that silver lining.
(…now this instance is a bit specific,
more specific than usual for this blog,
but things like this happen to me constantly.
God using the universe to remind me,
of who i am, and how He works,
& that there is no higher power than Him.)
i've been following this women #KateNorthrup for a few weeks now, and she is a specialist in money management.
today, i decided to watch her FinancialFreedomFriday video on Net Worth & Friends.
focuses on the damage of comparing your lives to others,
& instead, how you can use someone else's success, as a positive for your own life. smfh.
perfect timing.
it's surreal, how these things fall into my lap. but i am forever grateful,
for these moments, that reassure my hope is not in vain,
& that my self worth is not equivalent to my net worth.
even though high net worth is in my financial future !! :)
i had this mini mental breakdown.
& while its power is diminishing,
little remnants are still present.
i adore my job,
i adore even more,
being able to do my job well.
when my expectations aren't met,
it's no one else's fault but my own.
because if i was as good as i should be,
then i would always be up.
& although logically, i can assess, that that's not true,
in my mind when it happens,
even now,
it doesn't matter.
so naturally,
as one thing begins to lead to another,
i start to feel incredibly inadequate,
in all things.
especially when it involves being loved by another person,
specifically relationships.
when the person i adore,
is a person i admire,
because of his drive,
his accomplishments,
someone i see as capable,
of possessing everything he desires,
where possibly could my inadequacy fit into that?!
it doesn't.
how could someone like that,
want someone as inadequate as me?!
that. is the icing on the cake.
after that, i completely separate myself,
because my stability is shot,
and my worth has completely diminished…at least in my mind.
buut, wait for it, that silver lining.
(…now this instance is a bit specific,
more specific than usual for this blog,
but things like this happen to me constantly.
God using the universe to remind me,
of who i am, and how He works,
& that there is no higher power than Him.)
i've been following this women #KateNorthrup for a few weeks now, and she is a specialist in money management.
today, i decided to watch her FinancialFreedomFriday video on Net Worth & Friends.
focuses on the damage of comparing your lives to others,
& instead, how you can use someone else's success, as a positive for your own life. smfh.
perfect timing.
it's surreal, how these things fall into my lap. but i am forever grateful,
for these moments, that reassure my hope is not in vain,
& that my self worth is not equivalent to my net worth.
even though high net worth is in my financial future !! :)
