ConfessionSessionSeries : the finale reflection

I started confession session like a month & a few days ago.
i finished. did all 40 confessions, 2/day, for 20 days. :)
back to back. no biggie.
a reasonable service.
but i had no finale. not yet, until now. lol

it was important for me to present a finish,
not directly for you, but, in the sense that,
i really needed it too. a time to reflect,
because for me, this is just as much as a learning experience.
as i'm writing it, i'm living it, trying, trying, trying, over & over.

& recently what has stood out to me the most,
'...is that it's never too late'
getting caught up in the guilt, the stress, the distress,
the desire to give-in, ...can sometimes over take us to the point,
that we feel soo undeserving, so much so it dulls our wills to even try.
but no. more than ever. no matter how unnatural or illogical it might feel,
i know it is worth it to give effort, to put forth,
even if i didn't, just a moment before,
if i feel i can now, just do it.
..... all of that's kind of broad, i know, but it is a generalization of how my
perspective & effort are evolving.
hey, even this post.
it's late.
my series ended Tuesday i think.
i had a deadline by Friday, mid-day.
it's currently Sat afternoon. ;)
just keep going. & there is reason to remain happy about it.
excited, expectant, knowing that your spirit & heart is real.
& that God is your spirit's & life's overseer. :)

confessions help me keep that. always. at the forefront of my mind.
they help keep my spirit lively, receptive & bold.
they keep away guilt, shame and fear,
& they are constantly refilling me on hope, love & joy, to give...

because of that significance,
it was inevitable that i share,
eventually. lol.
it's so powerful, so overwhelmingly real,
& for everyone.
fueled by the Origin of Love, for you!
there are so many things we don't yet understand,
& learning all of that is a process.
but initially; know that you're loved,
by the Creator of Love, Himself,
& that no other love is truer & realer & pure
& powerful & unconditional, as that.
& through your journey of growth, & realizations,
you will come to know the truth & the depth of the truth.
& confessions are necessary for your journey.
for you to know who you truly are in the face of adversity,
will be necessary. confessions. confessing who you are,
& what that means for your life, consistently, writing that onto your mind,
onto your heart, illuminating your spirit,
it manifest the transformation God has for you! :)
so that you may know who you truly are,
even in the face of your most powerful adversary.

what happens when you repeat. receiving faith.

i'm finally listening to my insides, 

when it gives me a lovefaith topic, 

to share thoughts about. 

i think this will be some what of a series, between this blog & my other, averyashlay.com. 

this entry focusing on how i feel about faith confessions in general, 

& others about specific faith confessions & what they mean for your life. :)

posts full of life and love. #amen. 

confessions. 

we hear about the power of confessions constantly. 

about the affects of what you constantly confess. 

we don't really listen though. we don't apply it. consciously. 

because regardless of if you're aware of it or not, 

you're confessing things over your life & others constantly.

if you really comprehended the power of spoken words, 

would you make more of an attempt to change it?

if you realized how much you've hurt your own self by the things you've already confessed over your own life, 

would you invest the time and focus into the process of changing it?

I have this list of confessions i received from my church. 

it takes bible verses God made as promises and writes them in a form 

you can easily read over your life. 

for example. 'I am Healed by His Stripes' (1 Peter 2:24)
the truth in this verse, makes this statement real and true if you decide to take it for yourself, 

but do you understand, you're the one who has to take the promises. 
God gave them, but you have to receive them. that is your action. your belief, which activates the realness. 

God did this for you. He has givin you answers and solutions. He has givin you promises and forgiveness. take it. feel love. know it. your only reaction to receiving something so real, so pure, so undeserved, is to spread it. :)

the treasure in youth

there are things we once believed,
things we believed could happen,
happen on our behalf.
there are things are hearts were capable of having compassion for,
things our eyes saw the beauty in,
a time where there was no limit in our minds,
and sometimes the 'unreal' could mix with what's 'real'

since when did we decide,
what's best, based on our limited logic.
when did we decide we've learned all that we need,
& our perspective is perfect and poised?
why don't we want to believe in more, for more,
for your creator, for yourself, for the world.

something about my preferences and perspective remains 'childlike'
& sometimes a feeling attempts to creep up on me,
saying i'm kind of a underdeveloped, immature creep because of it.
but more and more, with more strength behind my belief,
i know that's not true. & that i rather have it, than not.

i want to believe, that people can change,
anyone could change, the power does not have to escape them,
even though i know, some will not.
i don't want to feed off another's anger or fear,
but always be a beacon of light,
full of fearless love, and skill.

i don't want to base my character my perspective,
off the actions of another.
my moral is not compromised by our inevitable human flaws.

i want to find joy in anything,
derive hope and love from anything.
i want the 'little' moments to always be enough,

i want my imagination to be capable of running wild,
i want it to be a tool,
for hopes and dreams, for comfort and creativity.

there's the youth that gives you time,
we treasure it because we fear its departure.
but there's that youth that can stay with you as you grow,
a perspective of hope and excitement,
that will keep us in all these ass-hole moments of adulthood & responsibility,
that allows us to remain our true-selves,
unhindered by the shiftiness of fear.

#hiphopconfessions // jeezy // seen it all

'i hope my hustle don't offend nobody, 

but i could give a fxxk what you think about me, 

you know i like to turn up at the spot, 

act a fool with the money, og told me keep it lowkey....'

can we talk for a second about hiphop?

because for some reason i don't bring it to this forum, 

half as much as it is a topic on my mind. 

it's easy to personally conversate about, 

i mean, that's usually how it happens...

session-ing with the homies, 

heard some of that new jeezy, & the homie got that. 

run that. 

& then boom. 

gah damn. 

i'm about to download this shxt rah now. 

new car music. asap. 

or you'll plan to exercise, anxiously, 

just to have that new quarter block bumping through the headphones. 

it's something about jeezy, 

something God gave him, 

that made him my rap soulmate. one of few. 

i like what he does, and how he does it. 

i like what he gets hyped about, 

i like his standards, and can relate to his recklessness. 

his alter ego, lol, seems similar to mine. ghetto fabulous. yes. 

i like his growth, i admire his time in the game. his ups and downs, 

i never denied, that jeezy does it like i like it, pretty much all the time. 

this seen it all joint, y'all know that joint is a classic right?

not just because jeezy's rap game is clearly always getting better, 

his flow, his beats, the relationship between the two, 

jeezy understands how to deliver. cohesive quality. 

but his content, where it's coming from, 

all he's been through. wwwwhhhhhaaaaa

#jeezytaughtmehowtoball. 

no. really. 

who does hype beast music better. 

'...all a nxgguh talk about is bricks & birds, 

chinchilla shxt nxgguh, his & her's..."

idc. you can say what you want. 

this is personal, this is an opinion. 

you don't have to feel me. idgaf. :)

but this classy ghetto nxgguh is consistent, 

his decisions, his actions, his dirt, his content, 

he kept going, mad of you nxgguhs counting him out...

that record label bullshxt, 

day one homie bullshxt, 

social politics bullshxt, 

rap beef bullshxt, 

jail bullshxt, 

family bullshxt, 

.....don't matter. 

with jeezy too for me, it's not always how he says something, 

even though, usually, he always makes it sound so good, 

it's what he's saying. 

it's some fxxk nxgguhs out here, please excuse my language, 

that say some real shifty shxt in they raps,

stuff you don't want to be associated with by any means, 

the opposite of thorough nxgguh shxt. uhm. 

keep that. 

me and gee over here, ballin out. 

"...the gawd in this bxxch, the mj of this shxt, 

& you can tell these nxxguhs mike home."

pushing the wrong bounderies

you ever think you're more like the devil than you ever thought?
that you show signs and symptoms of behavior that led him to where he is.
feeling like an invincible rebel, knowing better, but choosing the fall.

we pride ourselves on being able to separate,
unable to relate,
stealing the right to cast judgement on another,
justifying our selfishness.

even that,
that method,
defense mechanism,
it's not righteous. lol.

& yes, we should separate,
but not by the doing of ourselves,
but our association, dependency,
on our Father in Heaven.
acceptance of that truth, for ones self,
that new creation is new, made differently and set apart.

but assessing our lust for casting judgement is not the aim of this.
but rather actions that result from our self-righteous thinking.
our desire and belief that we should please ourselves.
and rationalizing our actions with our own dense limited logic.

and sometimes, we get too smart for our own good.
too confident for the moral that keeps us alive,
puts breath in our bodies,
keeps us even though our falls are inevitable.

and how many times you get to that place,
how often, and how easy it becomes,
to the point, that 'your' way is the right way,
you will cause your own demise.
that point is unknown.
& how close to it we get, do we even know?
...until