currently, i'm thinking about so many things so deeply.
the new daredevil is on and i'm itching to spill about it on spill. i also have a second round of left overs i'm considering even though it's way past my eating time. but it's saturday. :)
also, i'm on a shopping fast but my sister is sending me some fire fashions. also, i'm drinking wine. which is out of the ordinary but not so much on the weekends.
but i knew i wanted to write. really write.
i have my laptop on my lap sitting on my comfy bed fully indulged in this moment.
and i have a topic. one that was already pre-destined. my spiritual tribe knew that i would be sitting here. that at this time i would have the topic that i would have. one related to offense.
offended that my character is often tried and my ability not only questioned but my inability too many times assumed. the systems of the world that seep into our environments at work, in our relationships at home are built to offend. especially for those who prosper despite of evil with the help of heaven. so one could say, i should expect attempts to offend.
but what drove me here to this blog, to my laptop, was the hurt and heaviness of those attempts, both intentionally and unintentionally. because the questioning of my character by the world, the twisted questions and statements of the enemy served by those with access to me, sometimes have me questioning myself. and this isn't new. since i was an adolescent, i've questioned me.
my ability to perform. my ability to trust myself. my ability to have faith, to hear God, to do the right thing. my ability to stand up for myself. my ability to be creative, to be smart, to be stylish, to be wanted, to be beautiful, to have fun. lol. and i would sink into this pools of despair full of hypotheticals. and then eventually grow tired of the redundancy of self-pity and choose to perform anyway. only to be met with confirmation that i am exactly who God created me to be at that time. and that He was and is always with me. and He has pre-destined me to live the life the Spirit leads me.
and that is why offense should have no power.
because in Christ, i am settled. my life, my purpose, they are settled.
my success is settled. my fulfillment is settled.
i do not have to see my life through the lens of men and the systems of this world.
and i can rest in my decisions and the truth that regardless, God has worked all things out for my God.
because Christ is my purpose and my identity. that could never come into question.
and as long as i do the work to keep my spirit aligned in Him, offense can never reach me let alone overpower me.
when i read John Bevere’s book, The Bait of Satan, I took notes. I highlighted and made comments. I'm going to go over them again because I need a reminder.
this declaration from my last post is so fitting;
Father, I will not allow an unpleasant response from others to deter from Your truth. I do not want to abandon the flow of the Spirit for the desires of men.